


the stars don't lie

by sorano (zostir)



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Hoshi Meguri (IDOLiSH7), Friendship, Gen, Lies, Minor canon divergence, POV Second Person, Vignette, can be read as romantic if you want, headcanons, or you can lowkey ship erin/lazu as i do
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-01-11 02:54:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18421356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zostir/pseuds/sorano
Summary: Five times Lazu lies to his king and the one time he promises he won't hide anything anymore.





	the stars don't lie

**Author's Note:**

> I started this fic while reading the hoshimeguri story, meaning it took me months to get done with it.  
> This work is 50% canon, 50% headcanons I had before reading the story or things I thought would be nice to add. But it still follows the same timeline, so it's best if you have it in mind while reading.  
> One of my hcs might not be clear, so just in case: in this fic, Carnelian and Lazu were born the same day. Because of that, Lazu was elected as Carnelian's attendant, bound to him by the "stars" (and as Lazu, I have no idea who the stars are lmao).  
> A few lines actually come from the story (most of them are in part 4), and I used [this translation](http://osakaso5.tumblr.com/post/180860815893/the-observant-celestial-pilgrim-throne-of-the). In general I used the same titles and names as in this translation (for instance, Lazu calling milord).  
> And yeah, in case it isn't obvious, I'm really insecure about this fic and thought of not posting it, but that's not how you improve.

(1)

That night, you finally understand the meaning behind the muffled sounds coming from the prince's room.

You say "night", but at this time of the year, the sun doesn't rise at all, so that days and nights merge into a long streak of darkness. Because of the lack of light, you have started your training - and you willingly accepted it, for it was your destiny, from the moment of your birth, to become a shadow. You were born under the best auspices, that's what you were told. But when you raise your eyes to the sky, you only see a blanket of constellations, stars you are unable to tell apart, and you hear nothing coming from them.

Your improvement isn't fast, though steady. Since you discovered how to walk without making a sound, you got into a new habit: sneaking into the prince's suite around midnight and pressing your ear against the thick wood door of his bedroom. You can barely hear anything, so most of the time, you only listen to the silence of the night - which is nice. You want to be sure he's resting well, in peace; he deserves quietness after his long, exhausting days, and when you have ensured nothing disturbs his sleep, you can go to your lessons, feeling relieved.

Of course, you don't sleep a lot yourself, now; the prince noticed the dark rings under your eyes, but he hasn't asked anything. Does he know about your busy nights? Probably not. Your master told you not to worry about your sleeping routine: the whole point of this is to teach you how to fall asleep anytime, anywhere, as soon as you close your eyes, and to wake up when you hear a noise. He's right: you're now doing power naps whenever you can, and you don't feel as tired as you did at first.

The prince's room isn't filled with silence, lately, because of this sound you haven't identified yet. You can't ask, though, as you are nothing but a quiet witness, who isn't supposed to impose.

 _You're an attendant. You must follow my orders and keep your mouth shut_. You can't forget the king's words.

The prince never allowed you into his bedroom, so you haven't entered it.

But now that you hear the unsettling sound of muffled sobs, you know you have to disobey.

Your heart is racing. Your fingers shiver against the handle. You remember that day he was back from Eterno, his face as pale as snow. He began crying after you questioned him.

" _How was Eterno, your Highness?"_

_"... I saw everything I had to."_

You take a deep breath and pushes the open door, even if you're not allowed to do so. At this point, you can't erase all the noises you make, but the hinges are often oiled, so only a breath of air betrays your infraction.

You are welcomed by thick darkness; Carnelian doesn't bear any light when he's trying to fall asleep. You quickly close the door behind you, in case he's awake and notices the sudden glow you let in.

You wait for a bit, letting your eyes become accustomed to the dark. Though you don't see a lot; but you guess where each piece of furniture stands, as your master made you walk with a blindfold - you are the prince's protector, he said, so you should be able to move without seeing, and protect him even if you're blind. When the day comes, you won't have a second chance. You still bash into corners from time to time, but your training works. 

You make out his lying form on the bed by the sound of his sobs. You slowly reach out, for fear of startling him if you're too abrupt. When your fingers brush past what must be his arm, you hold your breath. His skin is cold under his nightclothes. The tears don't stop, and the arm you're holding is shaking from distress.

You whisper: "I'm here for you, milord." But you feel dumb, because you don't have the words to comfort him; you'll never have them, probably. Awkward, you move your phalanxes over his skin, until you hear him calm down, and after a while, you're convinced he's asleep.

 

The next day, Carnelian asks you, when you bring his breakfast to his lounge: "Lazu, were you in my room last night?" Your heart sinks, but you've learnt how to keep a poker face, so you reply: "No, I didn't." He stares at you for a few seconds before looking at his plate. "Oh. That must have been a dream, then." It wasn't, but you're going to keep this secret to yourself.

This is the first time you lie to your prince, and you realize it's a necessary evil.

 

 

 

(2)

When you start wearing a blindfold over your eyes, Carnelian's amber eyes shine with a strange glow.

"So it begins", he says, and he looks away, as if he was trying to hide you something - he knows you can still see through the thin piece of cloth.

You don't answer; you don't have any explication to offer him. He tries to keep calm, but you figure out his disappointment. You were never that close, but now that you have to act as his bodyguard, he's on his guard.

But if you weren't born under the right auspices, you wouldn't even be allowed to breathe the same air as him. The king would never let a peasant boy near his heir otherwise.

Carnelian's gaze is now on the throne. At this time of the day, the throne room is empty. Most of the dignitaries already headed back to their rooms, getting dressed for dinner. The king withdrew into his office; you have no idea what he's doing, but when you were younger, he used to bring the prince with him. It's been months since he's last done it, though, which is the closest thing to disowning his own son the king can do.

You can't forget this sentence:

_"Lazu, I'm more proud of you than of him."_

However, you can't be a prince, so in the end, he's going to lose interest in you too.

Carnelian remains silent for a while, and you, standing a step behind him, you don't dare to break the silence. Your blindfolded eyes fall on the uncovered nape of his neck. You still see, but you have a harder time making out the outline of his ginger locks. But light could damage your night vision, your master said, and the constant blindfold should force you to rely more on your hearing. But for now, even if you did some exercises in the past, you feel powerless and vulnerable.

When Carnelian turns over you, he asks: "Say, Lazu, will you always follow me?"

"Yes, milord." You reply without thinking; it's obvious.

"Will you help me fulfil my wishes?"

"Yes, milord." Again, it's your job.

"Will you help me avenge the death of my friend Amber?"

Your heart skips a beat.

If he notices your hesitation, he says nothing.

The time of your confession hasn't come yet - _you_ aren't ready to expose your lowest secret to your prince.

"Yes, milord", you repeat, but you're lying. You could help him carry out his revenge right now, and you choose not to.

 

 

 

(3)

"Silence!"

The scream surprises you, as you two are alone in the office in complete silence. He's sitting before his desk, you're standing two steps behind him, half hidden in the shadows. You have nothing to say, you're nothing but a ghost watching over your reason to live through your blindfold. You watch him reading letters, putting his seals on papers, straining his eyes on the spidery handwritings.

Even though you don't answer, Carnelian still screams "Silence! Shut up!", his hands covering his ears as he tries to protect himself from a noise he's the only one to hear. You move forward and drops on your knees. When you were young, in that kind of situation, you would raise your hands to his face, stroking his cheeks and eyelids, in an attempt to comfort. But you don't. Instead, you only put your hand on his shoulder, an over-familiar gesture you allow yourself - otherwise, he might not hear you. "Milord, what's going on?"

His body shivers under your palm, so you grasp him harder, and his eyes open. His breath is uneven, his complexion too pale, and he looks sick - you wonder if you should force him to rest.

"Lazu, this voice-"

"Whose voice?" You can't hear anything.

Yet the king doesn't doubt its existence. "Since father's death... you know, something talks to me since then." His face twists in pain. "But I don't understand what they're saying."

 _Maybe he's crazy, too_ , you think, but you keep quiet. You put your other hand on his forehead, taking his temperature, but his skin is cold. "Milord, there's nobody else."

"I know, and yet..." His voice lingers, and when he closes his mouth, he looks distressed and haunted.

You don't understand a lot about Alba's royal family. Carnelian's father was a strange man: authoritarian, stern, he looked reliable as a king, but sometimes he muttered weird words, and he told you about phenomenons you weren't sure were real. But maybe that's because you're down-to-earth, and all you care about is serving Carnelian, with your blades and your secrets, so you don't understand much about stars' fragments or prophecies or horoscopes or whatever fated you to be the attendant of the man trembling before you.

He leans over like a broken doll, and as he collapses against you, you effortlessly catch him. Carnelian, in your arms, doesn't weigh more than a feather, he's so frail you're afraid he's going to break. So you're nothing more than a support to him, as you don't dare to hold him against you.

 

Carnelian never stops hearing voices and the reverberation of his wish echoes in his head.

He pretends otherwise, but you sometimes catch him, when he forgets about your presence, looking before him, nodding to himself or mumbling something.

This time, he asks you to lie, hoping you will forget too. But you can't get his distraught face out of your mind.

So when, in the end, he'll tell you about the voice, you'll act as if it was the first time you heard about it.

 

 

 

(4)

When you land on Sirena, you have more time for yourself.

The crew members agreed to leave you alone when you had to contact your king, providing you with all the discretion you needed, you couldn't relax. The walls have ears, especially in such a small space. Even though your words were implicit, how could you be sure you weren't figured out?

If someone was on to you, it would be Erin. The man is dangerous, pretending to be a nice joker, but you recognize the shadows in his eyes. He could kill you if you lowered your guard.

Yet Erin doesn't seem to notice it when you fake surprise. You keep quiet when you're being told Sirena's Star fragment was stolen, as your comrades are used to your silence now; but you make sure Erin catch your gaping mouth.

You remember, however, the warmth of the stone between your fingers; it seemed almost alive, as it had the same warmness as a human body, and you felt something cry inside it when you tore it from its rightful place. An illusion, probably. But your king hears voices, and maybe you were sensing something too, although weakly.

It doesn't matter. Whether you detect something or not, you have a mission to fulfil.

When you're supposedly informing the king of the progress of the investigation (but he knows the truth, too), you tell him everything that happened during the day. You tell him about King Sardinia's words, about the testimonies that don't incriminate you, but you don't relate how you stole the stone.

You end your report and your king thanks you. You inform him of the next move, telling him you will protect the last fragments - and he understands what you mean by _protecting_.

"I’m counting on you, Lazu. The world depends on us."

"Yes."

You believe the communication will end now, but instead, your king asks: "Lazu?"

"Yes?"

"I know why I ask you to do this, it's for a good cause. But... are you really okay with your mission? It must be uncomfortable to lie to the crew."

"..." It's the first time he asks you this question, and it might be the last.

The answer is quite simple. Your feelings, however, aren't.

You think of Erin, once again, and how annoying he can be. His eyes burn through you, and not even your blindfold can protect you. He once asked if you were haunted by something. You said no, and he told you _You may be able to lie to the common man, Lazu, but I am different._

When you remember, a shiver goes down your spine.

You do have regrets. If you are to die soon, you wish you had met Erin sooner.

"No, milord. I'm ready to fulfil my duty."

_And I'm not afraid to sacrifice myself, if needed._

_My wish is for my king’s wish to come true… Ever since that day, it always has been._

All you can hear is Carnelian's breathing. He doesn't answer.

You wonder if he believes you.

 

 

 

(5)

"Lazu, open your eyes!"

You're tired of obeying. But if you don't open your eyes, you might lose consciousness and never wake up.

 _Should I give up, then?_ Your duty was, from the first day of your existence, to guard his life - the stars said so. You are ready to die for him.

From the first time you lied to him, you knew you chose your king out of your own volition. Not because he was imposed on you. Because you felt the will of protecting him rising in your heart, after years of watching his back. Because you saw him being mistreated by a father who didn't love him, and still trying to meet his requirements, requirements that were too hard on a child. Because you can follow a man who knows true pain straight to hell.

You gave him your last truth, admitting you were responsible for the death of his friend; you showed him your true face, the face of a liar who did what he thought was the best for the two of them.

"Lazu!"

...

 

You're not unconscious, not exactly, as you still understand what is happening around you. But now that you lie in the arms of your king, you don't find the strength to show him you still hear him. When he's holding you against his chest, you can listen to the panicked rhythm of his heartbeat; a reminder he's a human being, too.

So you pretend you can't notice his calls - the only whim of an attendant who needs to rest.

 

 

 

(+1)

Your uncovered eyes are attracted by the brightness of the crystal chess pieces lying on the board.

Now that you're free from the blindfold, you discover the world around you once again. The colours are sharper than you remember; sometimes the light dazzles you and you have to tie a piece of cloth against your eyes. Carnelian has ordered a pair of spectacles with dark glasses, but the craftsman isn't done yet. So for now, you spend a lot of time in the shack that has become your home, yours and the former king's.

It's different from living at court. You stay between four wood walls, in a narrow space divided by thin partitions that don't reduce noise at all. Sometimes, at night, you keep your ears open, but you don't hear those muffled sobs anymore. Now Carnelian's sleep is peaceful, and you're the only one awake, as you still feel you have the duty to protect him. But it's a duty you chose for yourself, so it doesn't bother you.

Days are quiet, and little by little, dull your caution.

The sun will soon disappear again, Alba falling into darkness for another season. Carnelian doesn't seem disturbed by the end of sunlight; when you mention it, he has a soft smile. He has resigned himself to the revival of the endless night.

For now, the last rays of sunshine make the chess pieces sparkle so brightly you can't look away.

The former king passes behind your back, his puffed sleeve grazing your collar, sending chills up your spine. "Want to play a game, Lazu?"

You nod. At first, your heart ached when you looked at the small crystal rabbits, but now you like them. They are fragments of memories you can't tear away from your king. And even if you couldn't, you wouldn't.

Carnelian wins most of the time. Sometimes, however, you snatch the victory, proving you're not as bad as it seems at this game. You learn through observing, and you're fond of the smile he offers you when you succeed in defeating him by using his own strategies.

Today isn't your day, as you understand when you move your pieces. You guess what he's trying to do, but you don't know how to counter his strategy. When he articulates "Checkmate", you bow over the board, your habit when you lose.

When you pull yourself up, his eyes shine with the same enjoyment they have when you win. "You're improving day by day."

"I train a lot", you say, placid, and you take your pieces in your palm before placing them on the board again.

He observes you. "Do you want me to teach you some techniques?"

You shake your head. "No, thank you. I need to learn by myself."

He doesn't insist. He understands what it means for you to defeat him under your own power.

You play again and again, and you keep losing, but you don't mind. When you stop and put the pieces into their leather holder, the sun is setting. The skyline is painted with strokes of pink and indigo, the last colour reminding you of Alba's royal purple. Now Carnelian wears several colours, but especially a vivid hue of orange, joyful, matching his own eyes.

"It's almost the end of the sun", he whispers while going to the stove. He cooks more than you do, because he's more talented even though he used to be king. Cooking is his way of reminding you he's now an ordinary man. And, to be fair, you like using your knives in another fashion.

You dine on a light soup. Nothing to compare to the court's dinner, but both of you like it better than the lavish dinner you used to eat.

After dinner, you wrap yourselves into your blanket. If the weather is mild, you go outside and stargaze. But today, the air is cold, so you stay home.

Carnelian usually tells you stories he thinks you don't know. He hands you pieces of his former life you have already witnessed. You listen quietly; you're fascinated by his tales, who sounds different from what you know. There are feelings in his voice, and you understand how alone you were.

Today, however, you say: "Can I confide in you too?"

When he nods, you admit: "I've always been here for you. I saw everything that happened."

He raises his amber eyes, a silent question you can't ignore. You're not his attendant anymore, but you're a friend, and friends don't have that kind of secrets.

"I watched you. When you were crying, I was there. When you were trying to flee from your father, I was there. I watched you hiding things from me, too." With a smile, you add: "I like hearing you talk about your memories. I know a lot of things, but not what lied in your heart. I want to know more about you."

He stares at you. "You already know more about me than I do about you." His voice is soft.

"And I still don't know enough." You stand up, removing your blanket, and you kneel before him as you used to when he was a king. The gesture is full of deference, inappropriate in your small hut, but old habits die hard. This is the only way for you to express your solemnity. "And I'll tell you everything about me, too."

He gasps. "All your secrets?"

"Every single one of them. I have nothing left to hide."

When he hugs you, he surprises you, but you still hug him back. Surrounded by silence, you hear the beats of your hearts against your chests, your breaths on your ears, and you understand the weight of this promise, tying you with a bond stronger than any duty born from the stars.


End file.
